Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Courage, Dear One.

You know what’s scary? Change. Now. Sometimes I like and invite change because I'm one who bores easily. But those changes are ones I can control and are normally pretty small or something to divert my attention. Like most people in the universe I need time to transition. But life doesn’t always give you time to do that.

I had no time to transition when I felt the impact at the back of my car and crashed into the sign I was suddenly careening towards. Car accidents offer no transition other than the ride to the hospital.

Not every life changing event happened at 45 mph, some happened over the course of 11 months as I planned our wedding. As much as I wanted to get married I felt myself digging in my heels, hoping that time would slow down. In the end I walked away, not only a wife, but full of memories I’ll cherish forever. Like the barn doors sliding open as I stood, waiting for my groom, arm and arm with my dad. That one’s my favorite from the day. And it only took about a year to plan.

There was a lot of coming and going in 2015. Packing and moving and leaving and crying and goodbyes. Some goodbyes were short lived, and some will last a lifetime. But there were also hellos. New ones and old ones and salvaged ones. Some lasted for only a second and others were practiced weekly.
Dreams were had. Streets were walked. Skies were flown. Seasons came and went and a year went by. Big (and sometimes scary) things happened in 2015. But I know bigger (and sometimes scary) things are yet to come. Things scarier than wedding dates and job offers. And I guess they don’t have to be scary. Instead they can be grand and beautiful.

I knew a year ago that I had a choice. I could choose fear or simply think of 2015 as an adventure. I longed to stick to the adventure but fear crept in, as it does so often in life. But it’s when fear is overcome that character is deepened and courage is gained.

I’m not sure how much courage I gained over the past year. It may have been little and it may have been much but I do know one thing; this adventure isn’t over yet. In fact. It’s only just begun.